Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Little BudBud

I know she is letting us gradually get used to her not being here. She is spending all her time outside, under the walkway, hidden away, coming out only to eat - when I make her. I have to tell her I love her through the cracks of the wooden slats and tears. She barely drinks all the milk that contains her hyperthyroid medicine. I have to make her come in at night, as I am afraid of something getting her, and her unable to defend herself or escape. Christopher declares, "Oh, I haven't seen her in so long!" He lays on the floor, and she still curls up next to him. She is wanting him to forget about her, but she still can't resist the heat of his body. I just hope she is not in pain. Her breathing is extremely labored now. I know I will find her motionless at some point soon. I cry every day for the cat she was. Oh, just to see her run to her food bowl one more time, to feel her claw at my leg when I didn't get her food fast enough. To see her destroy one of Christopher's lego sets in a mad fury would be wonderful. To see her play with her Zhu Zhu pet.
But she is staying away. Her heart can't take the sound and activity. She has to keep quiet and calm, and concentrate on breathing. And in the mean time, she is teaching us to live without her.


Pease Porridge said...

Awww, that is so sad. Do you ever think like Karlee? I am sure she will just pass in her sleep though.

MyBlueHeaven said...

Oh Susan I'll never forget how when Patty Cat was bad off and you brought her to my bed at night as she always did on her own. I know it took all her strength to jump back down and leave me alone because she wanted to be alone too. What could be more sad? Well I mean it's a sad thing in life.

susan sews a lot said...

Yes, Jennifer, I have thought seriously about how Karlee handled it. Thought about asking her. I know there is nothing more I can do for her. I don't even think that she would make a trip to the vet. I looked it up, and I am sure she has heart failure - most likely hypertension, or congestive heart failure.

Yes, Mom, I want her in with me so badly, but I know she wants to be alone. I did make her come in today from the storm. And she is sleeping behind my computer chair right now. I feel so much happier with her in. My whole days are spent looking at her, and checking on her, and of course, wondering if there is anything else I could do for her.